You act so innocent. But you lied so soon.

Feeling single and proud today. I don't need your negative approach to everything. I don't need your criticism. I shouldn't have to feel like I have to keep up with you. I shouldn't be afraid to be myself because you'll criticise something core about me.
I shouldn't be worried that you're treating me like a test case. I shouldn't change myself at your fancy. I shouldn't be afraid to call you out on wrong doing because you'll sulk and blame me and get angry. Your ego is through the roof and I don't care if you hear me.

I don't need you and you never needed me.

When I met you in the summer

School's soon. You're in every story I tell.

I'm tired. I'm worn.

Little things

We haven't talked today. But it's cool. I haven't worried. I just missed you a little here and there.

In the smile to myself kind of way.

The way you fix your hair with your fingers all pressed together, like you're patting it back into place.

The way you only drink lemonade in varsity.

There was this time, you rattled a cup of ice in my ear for like twenty minutes. You liked annoying me and you wanted to see how big of a reaction you could get out of me. I finally had enough of it and just smacked the cup clean out of your hand.

But you had refilled it.

Lemonade everywhere.

And the funniest part was that you all acted like it was all my fault because you didnt think I was capable of it...haha.

I have my Yolo moments.

One time you said were starting to talk about bit coin, and I just jumped right in and started talking about it too. You looked at me with such shock, you couldn't believe I knew about Bit Coin. I was very proud. You were too.

There's a lot you don't know about me.

I think it's going to be those little things that get me when I get back.

The way you absent-mindedly play with your tie.

Bold calls

I talked to C and T about you today.

It's really weird. I'm ok with everything. I'm in a good place.

I almost got you to call me last night. We texted until 3 am. I'll take it.

You're different. Even than before we were close...I think. I don't know if you've actually changed, if you're going through a phase, or if you're just treating me differently than ever before. I don't really know what to do with you.

All the parts of you that loved me at some time are dormant or suppressed. Somehow we're still friends.

Somehow it still works.

One time last year you called me, And I had been asleep. I answered all groggy, and you were like, "why do you sound like that!? Why do you sound...like...like a GIRL?!"

A drop in the ocean

You told me not to cry when you were gone.

It's crazy that I was basically punished for the exact same thing she was guilty of. Just because I was done convincing you I was worth it.
I wasn't going to sell myself to you. Not like she did. I'm not going to stroke your ego just to spend time with you. That means nothing.

You say you've stopped being friends with her.

I'm sure you mean it now. But I've heard it before.
That's one of your problems. You're so open minded you can't hold a decision.
And I know her too.
She's not giving you up this easily. She thinks she's giving you space now. And then the semester will be back to how it was. She'll start following you around like a lost puppy again.

Maybe it will.

You choose her. You reached out to me after you failed. That's not good enough. I don't care if I'm the one that knows you're allergic to Greek yogurt and you don't like ginger. That your favorite roast of coffee is Colombian. That your parents woke you up in the middle night when you were five and surprised you by leaving for Disney.

You chose already.

I'm your friend.

Welcome to square one. Square two is baggage claim.

Shots Fired

I've talked a lot about you lately.

I've talked a lot to you lately.

We're so different. Each and together.

I'm talking to someone else from school lately. It's nbd.

I feel like there's flickers of the you I know in our conversations. I don't know if you've actually changed and there's just moments where I see the old you, or if you are suppressing yourself to me.

I've changed. I've changed how I talk to you. I give you as much attention as you give me. If you want me you have to do something about it.

I'm no side chick.

Even beyond me, you need to grow up for yourself. Doesn't matter who you change for, it's temporary unless you want it.

If you told me you loved me I'm not sure what I'd do.

I might smack you actually.
At least I might feel that way. I think we all know I'm pretty much a pacifist at heart.

There'd be a rush up hope, followed by a pit of fear and hurt. Then uncertainty. And then a lot of anger.

I got hit on at my coffee shop today. He wasn't too bad actually.

I have to admit, I really miss our late night phone calls. Let's be real.

Who are we?
Who will we be?

Shots fired.

Power cries.

Power cries are literally the best. Lose it all and then walk away.

Let's go.